Military Kin

You will see us wearing logos or emblems, which most civilians do not know or understand yet when another who has served recognizes it, it is usually a silent “I understand” from across the room. In the military, it does not matter gender or race, only that you have my six because we are Military Kin. I see many civilians and none understands the connection, only the military person understands the connection, even with a complete military stranger who is our family. The military brother and sister hood is stronger than related blood, because it is the blood of loss, survival, and triumph.

We live in pain constantly, both physical and mental, but the latter is the one that takes the higher toll. We try to find peace that seldom comes, some try to find it in drinking or self-medicate, others find it in God or religion but these are way of coping, the pain remains. Seldom will we talk about it, especially with a person, military or not, who have not walked in our shoes. We are a very select club, we hope and pray you never receive membership. Some will tell anyone about their ordeal, trying to get acceptance or forgiveness, this only they know; most will not.  When asked, some will tell part of their story, leaving out the details of the horror while downplaying their place in the events. They want to forget yet few will let them. Some like me never want to talk and is seen staring into nothing, known to military people as the “Thousand-Yard Stare”, where we try to detach ourselves from the horrors we have lived and seen, just to relive every day what we are trying to forget. I see it as my duty, to protect my wife from learning the reality of my demons, what I have seen and done. It haunts me every day yet I keep her as oblivious as possible to my pain.

We make jokes to redirect people from seeing our pain, the reality we face daily in an attempt to forget; it never works. We have survivor’s remorse; the wounds or deaths of our brothers or sisters haunt us daily. Why did they pay instead of us? We stood, shoulder to shoulder yet we came out unscathed while they lose pieces of their bodies or their life. What could I have done differently to ensure my Military Kin would still be alive today? The answer is nothing, it is like the Kobayashi Maru, but you will not accept this, there must have been a way. I am a lucky one, other than a few well-hidden physical scars; I have a standard outward appearance, none knows of the psychological scars and its battle raging in my mind every second of the day.

Many of my family have lost arms, legs, sight, or even the ability to function, but they are still my family. Civilians shun them, not knowing what to say. Many of my family outwardly look horrific, but they are the same person who laid down their life to protect yours and your children. Today, you would never know they were a beauty queen or king, they are the same person; you just need to look. When civilians say, “Thank you for your service” it helps and we feel appreciated, but then many of the same people want to destroy our country; did they not learn from our sacrifice? They are naive; they do not see our enemy shaking their one hand, while they have a knife in the other. Our fight on foreign soil to prevent another attack on our own falls on politically deaf ears, our next battle, more than likely, will be on our own soil.

The Military give all for their country yet the politicians give all to their party. The military, when political ignorance shows its face, will be the one paying the ultimate price. We do not ask for much; just take care of our wounds, both physical and psychological, and for the people to elect politicians who care as much for our country as the military. Seldom, we who sacrifice it all, unlike the politicians who most sacrifice nothing, do we have buildings, bridges, or roads named after us. This is fine, as long as the politicians support us and more important, protect our country from all enemies, both foreign and domestic, which could include their congressional family. Do not let our sacrifice be in vain.